I miss her so much it aches. When the emotion of her not being here overwhelms my body, I am anchored back into the present moment and I am prompted by something I cannot explain. I know she has passed away and she her visits are now shared in different ways. It is with this tenderness I feel an unhurried life is for me. My Nan reminds me of this.
An unhurried life transports me back to weekends spent at Nan’s around her dining table. No where to rush off too, we were grounded right where we were meant to be. We all would gather. Stories were shared, laughter could be heard, tears would sometimes fall, secrets were kept, food nourished our bodies and my Nan would sip her tea or coffee while she listened or offered touch on your hand if needed. Her eyes drank you in. They smiled and you knew you were the most important person to her in that moment.
Every meal my Nan made me was cooked with love. Every bite was mouthwatering and my body was taken over with love.
During these gatherings I knew I always wanted to create this in my own family. Our kitchen to be the centre of our home. I recall some weekends sitting there, closing my eyes gently and pray that I would be like her when I grew up. She served selfless.
As I grew so did my relationship with food. Gathering for meals served me with anxiety as a teenager and fat became my only thought. This transitioned into adulthood and has now grown into nourishment and anxiety no longer serves me. My meals aren’t filled with anxiety or fear that will not be received with pleasure, they’re unhurried. The process of cutting, mixing, blending and serving is mindful, pleasurable and a delicious warmth is served with an abundance of love. Meals are unhurried and are sacred.
I have wanted to transport these feelings further than our little nest at home to our businesses. I want to serve our educators and invoke the emotion of my love and gratitude I have for them through homemade baked goods.
A few months ago when I was in Melbourne watching my sweet friend Tam who has created the same loved up environment in her home, I came across her Bakers Drawer. I immediately wanted one. It was beautiful. Handmade and the perfect vessel to transport my baked goods. Tam led me to Winnie and Co.
Reading their story behind the Bakers Drawer I traveled back to my Nan’s dining table and a longing for her. I wanted to encapsulated all my emotions.
I ordered a Bakers Drawer and I named it Philomena after Nan. I write our favourite meals out in a journals along with memories, feelings and thoughts that call forth and I relish in the knowing that my babes will find the journals on day and use my Bakers Drawer. I like to think they too, with love, will be anchored back to the unhurried life when life overwhelms them, eat a meal cooked with love and drink tea slowly and share their stories.